Ok, so I was just having a few down days but I want to post something new as I don't like the slightly whiney, poor me attitude from my last post. I am very grateful to be where we are right now, and as overwhelming as it may be, we will get through it. Also, the things that were freaking me out are really only two: health insurance and the domicile question. I think I have #1 worked out, which only leaves #2. I can handle it.
Last night my husband and I sat down and really talked- a rare occurrence. It made me feel so much better. We pulled out the atlas and talked mostly about the assignments that would give us pause. There weren't really that many of them. Sure, there are places we'd rather not go due to (mostly) language considerations, but they might be amazing otherwise. It's the ones that might not be safe for our kids that really make us nervous- the ones that are still accompanied, but perhaps shouldn't be. Yes, that would be some of the Mexico border posts (which makes me sad, because I love Mexico). And Africa posts do make me nervous while my kids are young. Luckily, L is past the crawling/everything in mouth stage, but I still would prefer they get a little older before going to Africa.** Safety of my children will be my #1 preference and will trump all others. Still, we might get one of these posts anyway, and we'll have to make the best of it.
My plan is to go through our list of lows the night before Flag Day, and list a few positive points about each one. Lately, I seem to be coming across a lot of people who did not get a high/medium. I want to be as ready as possible.
** Have to edit this: Having lived in Africa for 2 years, I am aware that some of my fear of taking the kids is irrational. There are thousands of expats (and Africans, of course) living there and doing just fine, and I am sure that we would, too. Also, as we all know, there are many different countries in Africa, each with its own advantages and disadvantages. So, we will just see how this one plays out. I'm pretty sure that because I'm discussing it here, we'll end up in Africa. Babu lehi (no problem)!
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8 comments:
You know I find the domicile question very confusing too. Is there a good worksheet on that or any advice in the documents you got that you can use to help you in that decision. I don't remember seeing anything like that and would like to get some clarification on it. If anyone else has any ideas, that'd be good too. Thanks!
And I am so with you on Africa posts and Mexico border posts with little kids! I'd love to see these places one day but we just have to think about the safety of the kids too.
Agreed on the domiclie. Confusing until we bought a home. It seems like one of those things where lots of people just kind of hope it makes sense. Wish it would get clarified more.
We did not get a post we expected but have learned to be okay with it. If you do have border posts on your list, let me know and we can chat. We have friends in several other border posts besides this one. There are pluses and minuses. And in general we really like it. You do have Spanish so you may end up here. We have four kids 8 and under and have made it work. (Nowhere near a high on our bid list.) Best of luck!
daniela- I'm putting some info together for my husband and will get it to you as well somehow.
becky- I will totally get in touch w you about border posts when I get my list, thanks. I'm sure they will be on there. I know a few people at different posts but some of the stories I've heard are really scary. :( Glad you are doing well there.
Try not to worry yourself too much about those decisions. The health insurance is a big one, but going to post is a qualifying event for changing your selection, so whatever you pick now doesn't really matter too much. And as for domicile... we're 7 months into this FS thing and we haven't figured that out yet! =) As long as you own property in NY definitely consider using that (no state tax liability!) but after you sell your house it'll be hard to prove your ties to the state (at least that's been our experience, despite drivers licenses, voting registration, etc). But... it's a moot point for us right now anyway since we'll be in VA for most of 2010 and will hence have to pay taxes here this time around.
Anyway, my point: they do a really good job of scaring you into thinking you have to have everything 100% figured out before A-100, but you realy don't.
I'm with you about Africa and I am here. I am glad we waited until all the kids were a bit older before we came. I am not sure I would be comfortable with an infant toddler here, although there are plenty of them around.
The flip side of the Africa coin is that many of the African posts only have adequate schools at the elementary level. Everyone here that has a high school kid has them in boarding school somewhere else, says something about the school, huh? This was the perfect time for us to be in Africa, the kids are old enough to enjoy and remember their safari adventures but young enough that the schooling challenges are manageable.
Ethiopia is always an option! Heard the preschool is nice=) Meet you there?
I love reading your blog:) You think much the same way I do and I like getting lost in someone else's list of things to do rather than my own sometimes! My hubby speaks French and also had lived in Africa for two years. I thought FOR SURE that we would be going there. However, I felt exactly like you. My kids were my biggest priority, and yes-there are definitely some posts that I personally think maybe shouldn't be accompanied. This was a HUGE worry for me too:) For us, it ended up working wonders using the advice of our CDO. (we ended up with an awesome one, which many people we know weren't so lucky...hopefully you will get a good one:) But anyway, we made sure that all of our preferences matched all of our highs. Many people we knew did not do this, and then the CDO says hey, well if these are really your top three preferences, but they totally don't match one of your top highs, maybe it isn't as important as they say it is. We didn't end up putting as many highs as other people, but every high matched every preference. We did safety, health care and for us we liked a place with actual seasons. We got Istanbul! I was shocked! I don't know if that makes any sense, but essentially our CDO told us that how you word them and which preferences you choose as your top three can make a huge difference. They want to make you happy, so try and make it easier for them to do so. People who got too picky or only had one preference instead of all three that could realistically be met, I think anyway kind of got the bottom of the barrel. Make them want to help you:) So yes, also though I was the same as you...we actually went through our entire list and wrote down three good things about every single post. I had that list with me during flag day so that I was instantly able to look down and see the list of good things even if it was a low that we were going to be excited about. I think it is an excellent strategy, and maybe you won't even need it though and will get your number one choice! (that one you won't need a list of good things written in front of you:) Anyway, good luck! you will do great! We were in January's class last year. Moving in December is a tough one, I feel your pain; but it is totally worth it! This way you will probably catch some cherry blossoms in the spring for sure!
I find that not knowing, that sense of not being in control until you know (sort of!) what is going to happen next is a terribly tough time! You can deal with anything, when you know what anything is. That waiting to find out is HARD! Hang in there! :)
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