CNL or bust?

We heard this week that the January class is going to be small like October, about 60 people (although they sent out a few last-minute offers this week, but it doesn't seem like many- maybe 10?). And rumor has it that the other spring classes may be small as well.

Which all means that I might sit on the cusp, not getting an offer but ripping out my hair every time it's offer time, possibly forever (or until December 2011, when I expire off the register).

So I'm giving a long hard look to getting started on a CNL, most likely Turkish. I'm going to lay out my thought process and would welcome your insight.

Here are the reasons to do it:
- I believe in going after something I want and don't want to find out too late that I should've done it. 
- I only have a year before I expire, so now's the time to get started.
- I am taking the FSOT again and hope to be able to take the OA again in the spring. But it's entirely possible that I won't pass again. Yes, a lot of the OA depends on me, but other portions depend on chance.
- I've always wanted to live in Turkey (though I know nothing about the language).
- I do have a commute of at least 1 hr concentrated time that I could use to study.

Here are the cons/issues:
- Um, time/energy. I handle most of the daily childcare needs while D works long hours. I rise at 5am to make their lunches, leave the house at 720am, and get the final kid in bed by 830/845. At that point, I'm pretty fried. But that would be my only opportunity to spend an hour on Turkish (or, I could go to sleep and get up really really early, which might be more feasible). It's just hard to imagine maintaining this kind of schedule for a year. I'm overwhelmed as it is. I would have to spend a little more time on the weekends, which is hard because I already feel we don't have enough time together as a family. I did it when I was prepping for the OA, but that was only 1-2 mos! Not a year.
- Money. Language learning is expensive. I would take advantage of free options like Live Mocha but I still need to buy some resources and eventually pay for a tutor or a class (or both).
- Immersion. I'd need to find a way to do an immersion of some sort, perhaps summer 2011? Which means more money.

So...yea. Not an easy choice, given my home life. We are pursuing some options that would allow me to quit my job and study language fulltime (although of course, that would mean losing the salary match), but if one of those comes through, it won't be tomorrow.

But I keep coming back to: If I want this job, I have to try harder.

Thoughts welcome.

Cold Spring

Yesterday my kids and I visited a farm near Cold Spring, NY where a girlfriend from Peace Corps Niger lives with her family. It was glorious. Such a beautiful place, and of course, beautiful people.

Lately I have a fantasy of living on a farm. I just want to slow down and have more time to enjoy the scenery. It's probably not going to happen, but if it did, I would have to toughen up a bit. I was as exhausted as the kids after touring the farm on foot!

I was impressed that C was carrying her baby in a pagne like moms do in Niger. This was never a skill I perfected. 

This is across the street from her home. Beautiful, right?

The kids loved watching mama pig burrow in the mud

So picturesque

My little L liked playing with big girl EJ

Here's where the chickens live

We only got one pic together...and none with the kids looking happy!

Random thoughts this week

I feel like I should update today, but there's not too much to say.

Yesterday, for the first time in 1.5 years or so, I was busy all day at work. The medical practice I manage is bringing in a new MD in 2 weeks. Unfortunately, that also coincides with our annual vacation in DC with my husband's family. I might have to arrive a day late, just to make sure Dr. L's first day goes smoothly. But it's a welcome change to be so busy and it keeps me from obsessing about the FS.

Speaking of the FS, I am decidedly not motivated to prepare for the FSOT. I've done a few geography quizzes (amusingly, Europe is my downfall!) and learned all the world capitals. That is quite fun. Before my FS interest, I would venture to say you could not pay me enough to tell you where Baku, Mbabane, or Skopje were. I've always loved geography and probably know much more than the average person, but there were (and still are) definitely some gaps in my knowledge base. But now? I know the capitals, baby.

I bought M a world map placemat and he's starting to get into it, too. I'm very proud.

I'm trying to do essay preparation, too. But oh, it's so painful.

So I just want to give a shout-out to those who keep up their motivation through multiple cracks at the FSOT and subsequent tests. It's not easy to sustain your energy for years on end.

In kid news, M and L are so adorable lately. They are both starting to thrive at their new daycare. M wants to come home every day and say the Pledge of Allegiance before dinner. He's practicing writing his letters in a workbook.

And L is starting to fall in love with Daddy. She's been a mama's girl for a long, long time, but yesterday, when I went to get her out of bed, she said "I want to go see my daddy." And this morning, after saying goodbye to Daddy and watching him close the door, she said "I want to say I love you to Daddy." So of course, we had to open the door so she could call out, "I love you Daddy!". I'm pretty sure her Daddy melted.

A successful day

We had a respectable yard sale yesterday. The bottom line was that we made $340, and since I was hoping for at least $200, I'm pleased. Of course, I wish it was more and I was dismayed that we were left with TONS of stuff at the end of the day. But it was fun to hang out outside on a gorgeous day, meeting neighbors and enjoying the sun.

I was surprised to find myself speaking Spanish almost the whole day. We live in a very economically and ethnically diverse neighborhood, and most of our customers were non-English speaking Latina moms. They obviously don't have a lot of money to spare, so it felt good to practically give our stuff away to the mom who was expecting twins, and to literally give away a packnplay that needs some cleaning to a mom with a 6mos old.

I was also surprised that things I thought would fly out the door didn't, and vice versa. People told me that was true, but boy, is it weird.

And the kids did great! Thank you, Sarah and Markus! They took the kids to the Aquarium, and by the time they got home, most of the incriminating evidence was put away. I am grateful for friends like them.

So now I have bags and boxes waiting for 1) a charity pick up and 2) a visit to the consignment shop. And just a few items made their way back into our move/store piles, too.

Final thoughts: we got a warning from the city for not having a $25 permit to hold a yard sale. We only missed a ticket because the police officer is our neighbor, thank goodness!

And also: WHY WE STILL HAVE SO MUCH STUFF IN OUR HOUSE?

Some photos:

I mean, look at all this great stuff! Much of it didn't sell. 

Here's L investigating the book offerings

Yard Sale Checklist

• 15+ boxes of stuff to sell, sorted and priced- check
• 20 neon signs- check
• 2 friends to spirit the children away at 8am- check
• $200 in change- check 
• Good weather forecasted- check
• Children who are generously giving up their old toys/books/crap that they never use and won't freak out if they happen to get a glimpse of what we're selling- Um......

Little Miss Personality

Everyone who meets my 2 year old comments on her feisty personality. She is a character, that is for sure. I kind of feel sorry for her, as I know how hard it is to need everything your way (I'm afraid she got that from me). But I'm also proud that she is so spunky and doesn't let herself get pushed around. Here are some recent conversations with her:

Mama: Let's put on your jeans.
L: No.
Mama: Why not?
L. Um...first, I don't like it.

Mama: Ok, we're going upstairs now for night-night.
L: No. We not.
Mama: Why not?
L. Um...first, I play with my baby chick.

Can you detect a pattern here?
I love her little speech. There is never a second.

Yard sale prep

We did crazy house stuff this weekend! My parents came to visit and helped tremendously, like they always do. My pop and husband painted our white picket fence, a task that needed to get done but would have taken forever without his help. Thank you Papa!

And my mom and I visited yard sales to check out pricing and traffic. That was so fun- I love driving around our neighborhood, seeing things I haven't seen (some of the homes in New Rochelle have the most amazing ocean views!). We came away with a few pieces of wisdom:

1) definitely price each item
2) a lot of people try to sell junk. my stuff is good stuff.
3) as long as I put up good signs, people will come. I have a lot of traffic on my street, and I've got my signs ready.

We spent the rest of the day pricing and organizing the stuff. Thank you Mama! I have a few more boxes to do, but mostly ready for next weekend! I'm excited!

Welcome, fall

In a normal year, I get depressed in mid-August because summer is almost over. I used to like the fall, until I started to hate winter. And then it was just a matter of association...

But for some reason, this year I am really welcoming fall. It might be because this summer was the hottest summer in NYC's history. And when I ponder that fact, I remember unpleasant mornings in our non-airconditioned downstairs, wrangling children who were grumpy about the heat, as sweat dripped down my brow. I remember losing my temper more than once and feeling just awful about the frequency of my frustration boiling over.

I guess this summer was sort of hard for us. We lost our beloved daycare provider and M's preschool closed, so June was lost in a sea of transitions and struggles (despite the big highs of landing on the register and passing my Spanish test). My husband started a new position at work, which meant I now am responsible for the kids during mornings and evenings. We had some wonderful moments, like visits with family and trips to the beach, but there was not nearly enough water play as I had envisioned in May. And of course, my dream of a fall A100 class was not realized, twice.

I have obsessed about the FS for so long that it's kind of relaxing to take a break. I'm just not thinking about it as much as I used to (thank goodness, although that will probably backfire when I take the FSOT again in October).

This fall, the medical practice I manage is bringing in a new physician who is charismatic and energetic. For the first time in months (years?), I am busy and engaged again. I just hired a new receptionist who will *hopefully* bring some harmony to our office, after months of backstabbing and complaining among my staff. I am so excited about these changes.

Happy, healthy New Year

Wishing family...friends...Jews worldwide a very sweet New Year.
Hoping this is the year that peace comes to the Middle East.

We eat sweet things on Rosh Hashanah to symbolize a sweet year..

Practicing blowing the shofar

Decluttering, one item at a time...

Well, the most gorgeous weekend on earth came and went and no sign of Hurricane Earl near NYC, thankfully (sorry to those who got pummeled).

We canceled a trip to my family's cabin in West Virginia to work on the house. 3 whole days should allow us to get lots done, right? Unfortunately, no. My husband was sick most of the weekend and little M was feverish for 2 days. Everyone rallied and played outside, but there wasn't much nose to the grindstone or in this case, paint to the white picket fence.

I accomplished a few things:

• Cleaned out the linen closet. Can I get a hallelujah?? That baby was a huge mess. I found lots of expired medications to bring to our area's Household Recycling Day.   
• Removed old photos from about 7 albums and stored in photo-safe envelopes inside photo safe boxes. I like these from Exposures a lot. The cost does add up, but I'm finally ready to store these photos right. But I should add that I'm throwing away a lot of crummy photos so that I'm only storing the ones I care about. Big project. I'm just taking it one box or photo album at a time.
• Started going through my desk and pulling out a ton of documents for shredding at the HRD mentioned above (having this deadline is very helpful for us!). I'm also realizing that most of our papers, with the exception of a handful of important documents, can be scanned. Unfortunately, our big printer/copier/scanner doesn't mesh with our new laptop. That sucks. So we may be buying a small scanner soon. 
• Did research on yard sales in preparation for our first one on 9/18. I'm nervous about it for some reason. I just don't want to do all that work and be left with a ton of stuff at the end of the day. 

We were hoping to put the house on the market in mid-October, but there is so much to do (I should add that we would like to sell even if we do not join the FS). Even with all the decluttering we've done, I look around and see STUFF everywhere. I spend my days taking stuff from one room to another and wondering why it just gets messy all over again. And I'm not talking about the kids' toys, which have a home. It's everything else!! Do we really need that much stuff? The answer, of course, is no.

Some photos to lighten the mood...

I feel the need to lighten this blog environment up a little bit. It feels a little gloomy and boring lately. Hence, a few random photos...

Here is L with her homemade "puter" aka computer. She is pretending to type.

The flowers I bought myself after not getting the call. They really helped! So did the cute baby.

It takes only 15min to walk to this lovely park on the Long Island Sound. Why don't we go more often?

Of course, all the kids want to do is throw rocks.

M on his birthday scooter

And finally, in the spirit of all the lunch bloggers out there, had to post a few lunch pics.

Awesome containers from easylunchboxes.com. I can't help thinking that in the FS, the kids' lunches might not have such variety... I probably go overboard just a little.

FSOT, take two

The B husband and I signed up for the October FSOT. I was in the June cohort, but back in June, well, I thought I wouldn't need to do this. 

[For those unfamiliar with the FS application process, a quick primer. It's made up of many different steps. If you do not pass to the next step, you must start over at the beginning. And you can only take the written test once a year. It is quite common for people who do not pass the Oral Assessment the first time to pass it on the second. It's also common for people to take the tests over and over again or to finally achieve their dream after ~5 years of trying. I truly admire those people.
 
So the good news is that State lets you try again and again. I mean, really, what other job affords you that opportunity? But the bad news is that 1) you have to start over from the beginning, 2) you have to wait a whole year between tests, 3) sometimes you fail a test or step that you passed the year before, which is tremendously frustrating. But still, overall, I am grateful that you can try again.

One last note- in my case, since I'm on the register already, the reason for going through the process again is to gain a higher score on the Oral Assessment. If I get a 5.5 (my original score was 5.4), for example, my Spanish points would give me a 5.67 and I would jump a few spots on the register and hopefully receive an offer sooner.]

Anyway, I joined the FSOT (FS officer test, or the written test) yahoo board once again to jog my memory about what to prepare. Man, it was like going back in time. I remember April-May 2009, when I first got this idea into my head. I told myself and my husband I was just bored and wanted to give myself a challenge. But the more research I did, the more I wanted it. I never, ever thought my husband would go along with it. But here we are.

They say that the FSOT is a mile wide but an inch deep. True. I liken it to Trivial Pursuit, a game I've never been very good at. I'm having trouble finding the motivation to do some preparation, but hopefully I will find it soon enough. Just in case.