Busy as a bee

We had a busy, but glorious, weekend around the house. The B husband was rather grumpy, but despite this setback, we got a lot done. I cleaned the laundry room, which was a mess after some construction work done down there.

Most importantly, with some help from my husband, we planted our square foot garden! Last year was the first time we attempted a garden. Given my black thumb, I was not optimistic, but it was a huge success! We enjoyed fresh lettuce, spinach, swiss chard, and basil every night. The kids came home from daycare and snacked on sugar snap peas so that none ever made it into the house. We learned about cooking okra. It was a ball.

We are a little late this year, because I've been too preoccupied to review the book again and forgot that some seeds can be planted before the last frost. Whoops. So I'll have to keep buying lettuce for a little longer ($6 for a bag of mixed greens from the farmers market! Can't wait to pick it for free!).

I can't help but wonder if we'll see it through the season. I hope to be moving to DC by Labor Day in time for a Sept class.

I'm off for 2 days to transition the kids to the new daycare. My 4yo son seems excited, but also keeps saying spontaneously, "I love you, mama." I think he's a bit nervous. We said goodbye to our beloved nanny on Friday, but luckily we'll see her again soon, just not daily. I don't think baby L has any clue what's going on.

Crossing fingers that I get medically cleared this week and get onto the register!
That combined with my son's 4yo birthday and a huge party in my backyard would make for an exciting week.

Am I the only one?

This week I had a two day training with no lunch break and no nearby computers and I about died from lack of email/blog access! To top it off, our home laptop finally died, so I was seriously going cold turkey (by the way, if you are preparing for the OA, read up on Behavioral interviewing! I wish I had had this workshop before my OA!).

Yesterday our new laptop arrived, and boy, is it small. Can't help thinking it's great for traveling FS families, but I'm not sure I love it yet. It sure is cute, though. 

In the last two days, my daydreams and plans have been stepping up a notch. I've been grilling my husband about joining. 'Are you sure, honey? What if we get x country, with high crime and little to do? What if we get freezing cold x country?' (unfortunately, we are split on weather. I long for tropical; he likes cold.)

He says all the right things. 'If it's a tough post, honey, we'll just hunker down and spend lots of family time. We can handle anything for two years.' It's hard for me to believe he really means it. Also, I've done two years in one of the hottest, poorest countries in the world. Two years can be a long time. Granted, I was living by myself in a village and trying to accomplish the impossible in a difficult foreign language. Now, I'd be with my family, living in nice accommodations, working in a U.S. Embassy. So, I know it will be different.

But that gives me pause, too. Every time we went to a restaurant or a pool in Niger, it was such a shock to leave that luxury and go back among the villagers. People who were hungry or sick. People who had no place to live. People who had nothing, and would still give you the shirt off their backs. The poverty was breathtaking, so I worry about the guilt of being one of those privileged diplomats living in the beautiful house.

So basically, now that I'm close to achieving what I've been dreaming about for a year, I'm scared and doubtful. Leaving our homes, families, and jobs. Taking our children to places where they may not be as safe as they are here. Being one of the haves in a sea of have-nots.

Don't get me wrong; I'm still moving forward. But how come no one ever blogs about the fears?

Security clearance!

I can't believe it, but I was just informed my security clearance was granted! Exactly 3 mos from my OA.
I was starting to believe that despite my boring history/life, I would languish in adjudications for months.

But I'm still waiting on a medical issue. I have been emailing them weekly and now just took it up a notch, calling and emailing someone in the department I need to reach.

Wow, what a thrill! I am tempted to move my Spanish test up, but I'm pretty sure we'd prefer the Sept class to the August one, so there's no need.

can't believe it!

6 years

Over the weekend, D and I celebrated 6 years of marriage. We were married on the beach in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Happy Anniversary, my love. I'm so glad you asked me for directions on the subway so many years ago.

Random thoughts

First of all, what possessed me to ask my mom to give us an easel for the kids' birthdays? What a mess! I'll have to post a photo, although I don't have one of the time L threw her green paintbrush across the room in protest after we told her to paint on the paper, not the easel! I was chasing after her with wet paper towels- I think I will have to chill out a little bit. Can someone tell my husband the benefits of encouraging the kids' creativity? He's not seeing the wisdom in this purchase either.

Not to mention the fact that the thing is enormous, in our small dining room.

My big accomplishment this weekend was cleaning out the dining room closet. Since our kitchen is so small, this is where we store serving dishes, large appliances, and random baby stuff. I've been eyeballing it for weeks, knowing it was time to purge and make room for the art supplies. And I did! I now have 2 boxes full of stuff for the yard sale I hope to hold in September.

In other news, I feel like I'm just barely managing the household right now. I have mail piled up and finances that need to be analyzed. Our weekends are getting busier as the weather warms up. We still need to prepare and plant our garden. The kids are going to a new daycare next week and I'll have to start packing their lunches and snacks. I will be doing Spanish 3 nights a week for the next month. And I want to start decluttering and organizing. And I'm not getting enough sleep. And there's no time to cook, which is more important now that the B husband eats dinner at home. And we're having visitors soon. And preparing for my son's 4th birthday party.

ACK! I'll be fine, just need to make some lists and calm down.
I have 3 days off next week and will try to get some stuff done. Not that you can really do office work while caring for 2 little ones. But I'll try.

Test is scheduled!

After a tip from Short Term Memory  (thank you!) I went ahead and scheduled my Spanish test for June 25. I'm dreaming of landing on the register in time to make a September call. But I'm starting to doubt that will happen. I always thought I'd be the one with the quick clearances, but not so sure anymore.

So I'm going to have to be disciplined about working on my Spanish, despite all the excitement in the B household- visits from grandparents, birthdays, etc. That means more $$ to my Spanish tutor, who is awesome. But I should really start reading Spanish news- I just prefer FS blogs much more!

A happy belated birthday to my sweet husband...

An update

Since I wrote last week about getting serious, I've had two Spanish classes with my tutor and a exchange with an Ecuadorian living in NYC. I've realized that my vocabulary about pretty much anything other than children's sleeping/feeding/napping schedules is really lacking (I speak Spanish with our daycare provider).

I've always been great at grammar, so luckily I don't have to learn any new verb tenses, although I do have to practice working the subjunctive into my conversations. It was a bit of a wake-up call, though, and I realize it may take me a bit longer than I hoped to prepare for the exam.

Of course our laptop chose this week to break down, so skype classes may be postponed while we wait for its long-overdue replacement (my husband is jumping for joy).

So my new goal is to test by the end of June, so that if I get on the register by mid-July, we could have a shot at the Sept. class.

After dreaming of this life for so long, I'm starting to be a little scared. My husband has a point that we'd be giving up a lot. Some posts would be wonderful, others very trying. What if it’s too hard on our marriage? I’ve lived abroad in one of the most difficult environments in the world (Niger), as well as some easier ones (Dominican Republic, Chile, Venezuela) and traveled to many others. He has not done much traveling (although in the last 2 years, he led reporting teams to Saudi Arabia and Colombia and did great) and has never been a huge travel fanatic. I think that living in a country, having your own home and possessions and community, will be quite different from traveling there. But what if it pulls us apart? What if he resents me for pulling him into this lifestyle? Sometimes I think I must be crazy.

She's back!

And I feel somehow centered again.

As I'll take mine...to go so eloquently explained, Kolbi at A Daring Adventure has really created a community by bringing FS bloggers together, welcoming candidates like me, introducing people to each other, and generally spreading warmth and kindness wherever she goes. I still remember reading that post about wanting to help other State families who are medevac'd to Houston and thinking, 'how kind.'

I'm so glad you're back and that all is well in your world.

A tiny bit of food success...

I've been trying to change my kids' eating habits in tiny baby steps recently. One reason is that we're starting a new daycare and I'll be sending a cold lunch and snacks daily, which will need to include foods they are not accustomed to. And the second is that I've realized they eat a lot of snacky foods, sometimes at the expense of their real meals, and they are stuck in a rut of not trying new things.

Now, I realize they are only 2 and almost 4. But I had gotten into some bad habits that I am trying to remedy. Here are some things I've started to do that seem to be working:

1) Notice the time when they request a snack, and give them a small one (eg, only one peanut butter cracker) or tell them if they are still hungry that they can have fruit or vegetables. If it's close to lunch or dinner time, just go ahead and have it early, rather than fill up on goldfish.
2) Allow crunchy snacks only once daily. For the other snack, provide something more nutritious.
3) When they request more of the same item, tell them there is no more (or give only a little bit) and encourage them to eat the other foods on their plate
4) Involve them in cooking things (we made mini-quiches this weekend) so that they will try them.
5) Give them vegetables first when they are hungry (I've been doing this for a while, and my son is a great veggie eater, but my daughter needs help)
6) Switch to whole wheat noodles (this is done; they happily eat any kind of noodles)

For inspiration, I've found some great bento/kids lunch blogs, like What's for lunch at our house, Lunchbox limbo, and Lunch in a box. I received my awesome Easy lunchboxes and already packed a picnic in them. They really do encourage you to branch out and provide more lunch diversity.

My successes this weekend were that they both ate some tuna fish (they apparently eat it for their daycare provider, but never for me), and they both tried the mini quiches we made together (neither loved them, but at least they tried them). I thought they were delicious and so easy; I put about half in the freezer and hope they will warm up to them. My daughter also ate some orange and apple pieces when we ran out of strawberries; usually she will not eat these.

All this newfound excitement also meant that I cooked a nice meal for my husband and I- I have not been interested in the kitchen for about 4 years, but I think that may be changing for the better.

Missing ADA...

Add me to the list of people concerned and sad about the disappearance of A Daring Adventure's blog. Kolbi's blog and warm welcome of FS candidates such as myself was one reason I started blogging a few months ago. I will miss her gorgeous photos, uplifting words, and of course, the wonderful State round-up.

I just wish I knew what happened. Kolbi, if you're reading this, please let us know.

And does anyone know if she has just password protected it? On some of the links, it asks for a pw, but not all. If so, I hope I'll get invited to the club.

Making progress!

Yesterday, I hired a Spanish tutor from Oaxaca who has helped many FS candidates pass the Spanish test. We will speak twice a week on Skype for the next 3 weeks or so. We 'met' last night and I can tell already that she is what I need. She will send me articles that I need to read to prepare for our conversations and in general provide the motivation I was lacking.

I also lined up an informal English/Spanish exchange with a New Yorker and am hoping my best friend from Venezuela will have some time too.

I wish I had done this about 3 weeks ago, because in 2.5 weeks we will be going through lots of change and exciting events- new daycare, M's birthday, visit from a grandma. Then my dad/stepmom come to visit. Ugh. I hope to either feel ready enough before this all happens, or wait until after all the chaos.

Invites for the August class should start in about 2 weeks. I obviously won't make that deadline, highly doubt that I will be cleared by then, but my dream has always been Sept or October. Enjoy the NYC summer, and then get packing. The Sept class starts on the 13th, so offers would start in mid-July. Fingers crossed. Have to pass this test first, though.

Now I really mean it

Three weeks ago, I said I was getting serious about my Spanish. And then I did nothing at all. So much for public accountability.

But now I really mean it. Really. My husband gave me a ray of hope and if I ever get on the register, I'd like to, you know, get OFF the register within a timely manner. And although I'm going to sign up for the FSOT again, the thought of doing it all over makes me a little ill.

So I'm setting up my conversation partners and plan to start this week. Having appointments to speak with people will motivate me to read and listen to news in Spanish.

And if I'm lucky, I'll pass just in time to cancel that FSOT appointment in June. But one step at a time.

Changes

I've been having trouble thinking of what to write lately.

Mercifully, my mind has given me a break from the 24/7 FS thought process. We've been focusing on a new daycare, summer plans, a new home schedule, new job for Daddy, my son's upcoming 4th birthday party. Lots of fun things planned in the coming weeks.

I just feel so much happier when the sun is shining and it's warm outside. I don't remember feeling this altered by the weather as a kid, but it is tremendously important to me now.

My husband starts his new position today. I'm so glad he's leaving the old division where they did not appreciate him. You'll be great, honey.

And we're adapting to a different schedule at home. For the past year or so, my husband has worked Sun-Thurs, late shift. So he took the kids to daycare in the late morning every day, and took care of them on Fridays. I was on my own in the evenings, which took a toll on my patience, my cooking desires, and my waistline. Veggie burgers and pasta leftovers are getting old.

I think this schedule was good for the kids, allowing them to be in daycare less, but not so good for our marriage or family time. We never had enough time on Saturdays to do fun things, errands, and see friends. And I felt like we never saw each other.

So it was wonderful to have him home this Sunday for the first time in ages! I'm excited about all the fun things we can do this summer with TWO whole weekend days to enjoy.

And since he has to be at work before 7am, we are trying a new sleep schedule, too. Go to bed around 9pm right after the kids, and wake around 430am (me) or 5pm (him). I'm a morning person, so this is great for me. I started this schedule when I was preparing for the OA and found I had no energy at 9pm, but loved to get up early and study. I was inspired by the blog Zen Habits, specifically this post on the benefits of rising early.

So lots of changes in the B household.

And over the weekend, my husband told me he wants us to go ahead and join the FS when(if) I get the call, so that he can pursue his dream of being a writer. Whoa. I got scared as we planned our home selling strategy and talked about specifics!

Why I want to join...

A few weeks ago, the NYT travel section featured Mauritius . I spent a few minutes lost in paradise and then showed the article to my husband. "See, honey? THIS is why I want to join the FS."

Not because I necessarily need to be posted to Mauritius someday, although I did learn that it's one of the most heavily bid posts in the FS, and the Talesmag reports are glowing (which is unusual, even for a place you'd think is great!). But because the FS opens up all these places that I assume I will never visit in my life.

I mean, there are places we hope to visit sooner than later (my list includes Turkey, Buenos Aires, Italy).
There are places I hope to visit someday (Greece, Australia, South Africa).

Then there are thousands of places that I probably will never make it to, unless I join the FS. Because if we're posted in mainland Africa (quite likely), well, maybe we'll be able to spring for a trip to Mauritius. And we'll see thousands of other sites that we would never see, in a million years, from our home in NY.

This is one of many reasons I want to join the FS.

Mauritius, Courtesy of the New York Times