Tragedy

Our nanny's 11 year old daughter died today of complications due to sickle cell disease. I've been hearing about the little sweetheart since we arrived but never got to meet her. The poor thing spent the last month or two of her life in the hospital, being pricked every four hours and begging to go home. It sounds like she was such a character, full of life.

I don't know what is the right thing to do right now. We've only known her 4 months, but we've been following little V's progress closely and crying right along with mom every day. V's grandmom is the one who called us today, and she mentioned a funeral tomorrow which is not possible for me to attend. I don't know where they live or how to get there (they live outside the city but that's all I know), but I think I need to go pay my respects. Any advice is welcome.

Hug your babies extra close tonight.

A happy Thanksgiving

Happy belated Thanksgiving to family and friends near and far. We had a quiet one here, just the four of us. I have never made my own Thanksgiving and I was nervous about inviting anyone over when I might destroy the turkey. But it was delicious! We cooked it breast down and it was perfectly moist. I also made gravy and garlic mashed potatoes from my mom's recipes- all perfect. I took it easy on myself and used Stovetop stuffing, which definitely wasn't the same. Next year I'll make the stuffing, too.

We hosted 3 (and a 4th who came during the day) Peace Corps volunteers this week who were baking pies for their own celebration. They were sweet enough to make us a few pies, too, so I was off the hook in that arena as well (I'm not a big fan of baking...). It was wonderful to spend time with them and hear about the 'real DR.' We hope to be able to visit them at their sites and to keep hosting them whenever they are in town. I remember so well how wonderful it was to have access to a shower,  air conditioning, and a washing machine when I was a PCV, so I love being able to give back.

I am grateful for so much this Thanksgiving. First and foremost, my husband who agreed to take this leap with me, and who seems to be thriving. My two precious children- this year, their good health is something I can't stop being thankful for. Our parents, siblings, and extended family who love and support us- we missed you terribly this holiday and love you dearly. Living on a tropical island. Being invited to join the FS at a time when hiring is decreasing and budgets are tight. There is so much to be thankful for, indeed. Happy belated holiday to all.

Three months

I am still here, I promise. I've been composing post after post in my head, but every night, I get the kids in bed and 9pm rolls around and I have to turn in. It takes longer to post now that I am a diplomat. And I have learned that sleep is a consular officer's best friend. Being tired on a busy visa line is miserable. So I am trying to get more sleep.

I've been thinking a lot about the fact that we have been here for three months. Here are some observations:

- on stuff: there are still piles and boxes everywhere. I haven't had my artwork/photos hung although I did submit a work request this week (yes! Someone will hang our stuff for us!). Even though I now have a ten minute commute, I am still exhausted at night. So I can't blame the state of my house on my commute anymore. Maybe if I stopped going to the beach or something, I'd have time. But I don't think that's a good idea.

- on work: on my first day, I thought I'd never feel at home in the consulate or know what I'm doing. But now people are actually coming to me for advice (on the most basic things, I assure you). By the time I really become an expert, I'll have to move over to immigrant visas. Still, I'm amazed at how far I've come in just 3 mos.

Also, I'm amazed at how emotionally and physically draining consular work is. And we are relatively well staffed, though we often down a person or two due to TDYs (temporary duty assignments- we regularly send staff to Brazil, Cuba, and other Caribbean islands to help out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a chance to go to Havana). Every day, there are a few cases that stick in my mind or heart, both for incredulous reasons (I can't believe he thought I would fall for that!) or for heartbreaking reasons (there are so many sad stories, and many of them do not lead to a visa).

It's also very hard on your body to sit in the same position for hours and do all that clicking with the mouse. I'm working on learning keyboard commands so I can use the mouse less. Bottom line is: by Friday I'm like a wet noodle.

But the great part is that I am loving it. I barely miss my old work, and I definitely don't regret our choice. So that's awesome.

- on driving: I'm still afraid. D does 99% of the driving, but I try to practice on the weekends. You have to be extremely vigilant- people just pull out in front of you or create a lane where there isn't one. But I don't think it's safe for me not to be able to drive, so I'm keeping at it, and I'm improving.

- on illness: we think my husband had a mild form of dengue fever a few weeks ago. Though he was feverish, fatigued, and itchy, I thank our lucky stars that he was never in serious danger. He may or may not let me live down that I dragged him to the Marine Ball in spite of it (in my defense, he was on the mend and we left after dinner...).

- on the kids' adjustment: they are still adjusting. Potty accidents, crying, very fussy eating. They often refer to FSI daycare (L calls it her 'regular school' as opposed to her 'Spanish school') and it feels sad for all of us to know that that time in our lives is over. We are all missing our New Rochelle home a bit too (especially the backyard). But overall I think they are doing fine. They are bonding with teachers and classmates and have lots of American community friends (no Dominican playdates yet, but hopefully soon).

- on household help: it's been both wonderful and a struggle. Having someone to make dinner every night and keep the house clean is a true joy and I am extremely grateful we can employ her. However, our nanny has had a series of family emergencies and has probably a 70% attendance rate at this point. We were very compassionate at first and gave her paid time off...but then started to feel taken advantage of (though we trust her and don't believe she was lying to us). We recently came to an agreement that she could take occasional unpaid days off; since D is not working, it's not critical that someone is here every day.

Since then, though, things have taken a turn for the worse. Her 11yo daughter has sickle cell anemia and it seems as though her organs are failing. I've been trying to learn about the disease and it seems incredibly complicated. I don't know whether she is getting the care she should be getting or not here in the DR. Y told us Thurs. that the doctors don't think her daughter is going to make it. It's just heartbreaking. 

I really can't write anymore about me after that. That's all for tonight.

Hopskotch

More blog posts coming soon. But for now, for the grandparents, my little girl playing hopskotch at her school.