is there anything better....

...than ice cream on the beach?

beach pics

Day two on LBI and I thought I'd take advantage of naptime to post some pics. It's funny; it took us a day to get into the groove of being at the beach. I'm a big fan, but it's so much harder than the pool when you have little ones....the sunscreen re-application on sandy legs, the sand/sunscreen in the eyes, the yucky diaper emergency, the worrying at the ocean's edge. But there's also the ocean breeze, the digging a big hole in the sand, the screeching as the water touches little legs...I love it.

vacation time!

We're off to the Jersey shore this weekend, Long Beach Island specifically. The last time we were there, we were newlyweds and childless! So excited to be going back. My mom and little brother will be there too. After that, Daddy has to come back home, while I take the kids to my parents home in MD for a week. We'll miss you, honey. I'll be sure to post some beach photos!

Confession

I have to admit something that some of you won't like: it was a relief not to get an offer for September. Yes, I was slightly disappointed when I found out calls were done, but a few hours later, I felt as though a burden had been lifted. I realized that some of my impatience with the kids was due to the stress of waiting.

Please don't hate me. I know how lucky I am to be in this position, likely to receive an offer within the next few months. But I'm not ready. I wasn't prepared to clear security so quickly, and I wasn't prepared to pass my Spanish test on the first try. So even though I made a house to-do list as soon as I passed the OA (I love lists!), I didn't really prioritize it. Well, perhaps the flood in the basement which derailed my decluttering plans wasn't my fault, but I also kept making plans with friends and generally not doing anything on the house.

So I am determined to prioritize it this time, because I don't want to feel this way at the end of August, too. I want to be ready to receive that email. If anyone out there needs motivation so you don't find yourself in my position, check out this great blog post.

The new plan means finding people to watch the kids for a few weekend mornings in August while both of us get to work. It means one of us taking the kids somewhere, so the other can focus. It means making lists and actually checking things off! And it means getting my husband to buy in. Are you with me, honey??

On to October

It's official: all Con offers have been extended and accepted and the Sept. class is full.

On to October.

So, August will be 'get the house ready' month, and Sept will be 'put house on the market' month. Then we might even have a chance to be together as a family during some or all of A100. I'm just not sure I can do it alone. The kids are really challenging lately (terrible twos, check! Sibling arguments, check!) and the ridiculous heat wave isn't helping. Mama's patience has been wearing very thin, and I can't help but think that it will be much harder when I'm a single mom in A100 or living in a challenging post.

I will say that M has been surprising us lately. 4 is quite different from 3. He puts on his own shoes, reacts calmly when he doesn't get what he wants, and regularly earns a 'cooperation sticker' in the morning. I am grateful for that, because L is taking up her share of the attention these days. Then again, she always has.

Congrats to those starting in Sept, and good luck to the rest of us.

P.S. it would be so nice if some of you who visit my blog regularly would comment! In the last 24 hours I had something like 75 visitors, but only 2 comments! I'd love to know who you are!

more offers

Consular offers went out and were accepted yesterday to the three people near me on the register who I've been following. Two have 5.6s and one has a 5.57. I did not get an offer- Pat tells me I'm next in line, and will get one if someone declines (unless, of course, someone gets added to the register with a higher score, in the interim).

Before you feel sorry for me, I'm fine with it and happy for them! Let me tell you, we need some time on our house. And the more time we have before the call should mean the less time we have being separated, waiting for our house to sell/rent, after the call. I've started to get really sad and nervous about managing on my own with the kids, being away from my husband, and managing two sets of households on this salary.

But there's still a little chance for Sept.

As previously posted, I did alot of work on the house this weekend, and liberated about 8 plastic boxes that once held baby clothes I couldn't let go of and can now be used to sort our belongings and store some irreplaceable things like yearbooks and photo albums. That feels good. Yes, there is more to do, but as of now, August is wide open- no plans, and some offers to babysit. There is just so much to do to manage our household on a basic level, that crazy decluttering/packing/beautifying the house is so hard to do. But without kids? We could make some serious progress.

so. much. stuff.

Over the past week I've sold some baby gear and emptied boxes of baby clothes to give to friends or donate. I feel so productive- it's more decluttering than I've done in years. But then I look around- there is SO MUCH MORE to do!!! Decluttering this house could be a FT job for two months! How am I going to get it done in the snippets of time I have?

Gotta go- the kids are both asleep and there's work to be done!!

PS: Flag day assignments I know about: Manila, Lima, London, Mauritius....take me away!!

nothin. nada.

No invite this week and I don't really think it's coming. The two I know with 5.6s didn't get called either. The funny thing is that I actually am not that worked up about getting the offer, but I like the anticipation and intrigue. It reminds me of when my babies were due- any moment now! Could be today! Let's talk about it!

I really can't take a last minute offer, as I need to give my boss 4 weeks and need to travel to DC a week early to get the kids settled in daycare. Thankfully, I have a place to stay- mom and pop, you don't mind, do you??

So, it could still happen, but I think not.

(P.S. Next class, which belongs to the new Fiscal Year for which there is no approved budget, is Oct 25. Calls would go out the end of August.)

In other news, today is Flag Day! I only know of one blogger from the June class, although I have some email friends from the class as well. Are there other active bloggers I'm forgetting? The other two generalist A100 bloggers that Digger identifies do not seem to be blogging anymore.

Good luck to the June class!

Update: those of us on the cusp all secretly contacted Pat in the last day or two...sounds like more offers may go out on Tues and it will be very close. Stay tuned! More fun to come!!

fun stuff

So I ordered these fun packing cubes from Ebags and they arrived yesterday. I've been coveting the Eagle Creek cubes for a while but couldn't justify the expenditure. Somehow, the fact that these came in a set of three, plus a toiletry bag I've been wanting, and included free shipping, made me bite the bullet. I think they are cheaper, anyway, than Eagle Creek. Now they are on sale, which is a bummer, but what can you do (well, buy more, I think?)?

I think these are going to be awesome on my next trip. I usually use duffle bags, so that by the end of the trip, my clothes are a complete mess. I often separate my clothes into plastic bags anyway, so this will be more handy and aesthetically pleasing.

The toiletry bag (aka Portage Jr.) is awesome. Perfect size- not too big, not too small.

My only regret is that I had to buy black. I love bright colors, but I plan to buy duffle bags in royal blue and plum, and the other colors would have clashed terribly. And that just would've bothered me every time I looked at them. I might get some more in grey for me and give these to my husband.

Today is the last day of Ebags 20% off sale. Just FYI.

waiting...

Time is passing verrrryyyyy slowly this week. Almost as slowly as it passed when I was waiting on the Spanish test.

On Monday, a handful of offers were reported and we now have about 6 known acceptances from the Con register. The lowest rank is #19, I think. I've been emailing with a couple of people who have 5.6s and 5.57s (I have a 5.57) and they have not received offers yet. Acceptances on the first round of offers are due tomorrow, so we expect the second round of offers to go out on Friday or early next week. We're hoping there is a second round, after all.

It really is frustrating how much the register has changed in the last few mos. I would have been in the first round of offers for June and Aug. One person with a 5.6 got an offer to the August class and turned it down in favor of a long-planned family vacation, thinking he'd have no problem getting into the Sept. class. Now, he's on pins and needles. My fingers are crossed for him.

I know, I know. There is a lot of waiting in the FS. And I am still ok with it, either way. But I just want to know (and then I'll wait until mid-August and do this again!)!

chilled out

After freaking out last weekend, now I am quite chill. I might get an offer. I might not. And frankly, it might be better if I don't. Now that it seems likely that it will happen eventually, I think I'm ok with waiting until October or until the new year (quick catch up for the non-FS obsessed: offers are going out right now for the Sept 13 class. The next class is Oct. 25. Then, there is a hiatus until Jan 2. At that point, assuming funding and hiring remain the same, there are consecutive classes for the next 6 mos. So it's likely I'd get into one of those classes.).

I'm starting to mourn my house and backyard already, and maybe I just need a little more time to appreciate them. I have a complicated relationship with my house, but it does have a lovely, fenced in backyard and a covered patio that we are enjoying more now that the kids are older and more manageable. Last year, it was all, "wait, you can't go outside because you need your sunscreen/hat/shoes/bugspray and Mama's not showered/ready/sunscreened and L, please stop eating the dirt!"

On Saturday, we took care of our friends' two kids. We went to the Children's museum and then came home and played. The kids were all great, but omg! How do parents of more than two do it!!??

That night, our friends came over bearing groceries and proceeded to prepare a delicious meal for us. We sat on the patio and feasted on grilled steak, rosemary potatoes, and tomato/mozzarrella salad and drank delicious wine. We laughed and talked while the kids frolicked in the baby pool with their clothes on, chased fireflies, and swung their glowsticks around. As we like to say in the B household, "it doesn't get much better than this." Great friends. Scrumptious food. Gorgeous weather. Precious children.

Perfection.

And I found myself thinking: why don't we do this more often?

And also: why do I want to give this up?

I'm constantly weighing the pros and cons of this potential lifestyle. In the wintertime, I'm ready to bolt. But in the summer, it might be a little harder to say goodbye.

So, I'm just going to sit around this week and see what happens. Because, you know, there's not actually anything I can do about it right now.

thoughts on "the call"

Don't get excited. No offer for me yet. I was prepared to wait until next week, but at the end of the day yesterday, two people got Con offers, that we know of. No other offers in any cone have been reported on our listserve. One Con offer was #19 as of yesterday and one was higher on the register. I can't help feeling frustrated that it was done at the end of the day on Friday. So if I didn't get one, is that it? Or did they only send a portion of them and I should keep hoping until Monday? I'm inclined to think that was it. I could hope for the 2nd round, but really- how many people decline an offer? If you're going to decline, you go on DNC.

I hate this part of the process! Up until now, it's all collegial. You help each other every step of the way. At the OA, you can all pass or none of you can pass- you're not competing against each other.

And when I was waiting to be cleared, again, it was just people helping each other through the wait.

And then, once you get on the register at a high rank, it comes down to numbers. One additional person above you could get the offer and you don't. I understand now that some people were probably not rooting for me to pass the Spanish test. And yesterday when #19 announced her recent addition to the register, just in time for "the call," I was envious. I didn't like that feeling at all, so I wrote and congratulated her, and she wrote back, and now I'm just glad for her.

This part is tough. Like all of this impossible process. So stay tuned.

talk to me about luggage

This post is just itching to be written. I can't hold it back anymore!

I confess; I love luggage and bags. And we have needed new ones for years. And even if I don't get "the call," we still need new luggage.

When I passed the OA and was allowed into FS Livelines (a yahoo group for people who are in the FS), one of the first searches I did was for packout and luggage. So I've done my research. I have a problem, ok? Will you indulge me? If you have great luggage strategies, philosophies, or just plain bags to tell me about, please do.

This is my tentative plan: I want to buy 2-4 LL Bean rolling adventure duffles . I'm not sure if I should buy medium or large, and not sure how many we should get. If we do begin this crazy lifestyle, I also want to buy 1-2 large or XL Adventure duffles for our bedding - pillows, mattress toppers, sheets- and perhaps other soft things to take with us as accompanied baggage.

Here are my questions:
1) is it worth buying good duffle bags rather than cheaper ones? LL Bean's are cheaper than others, probably because they don't have compartments (I plan to solve that with packing cubes, what fun!), but they are still more $$ than something I might buy at Marshall's or somewhere like that. I do like LL Bean's guarantee.

2) We have one super-large hard suitcase, and 2 smaller ones (carry-on size). Should we buy another hard suitcase or two to protect things en route? We will be bringing toys, household goods, etc if we move abroad, not just clothes.

3) If you have the adventure rolling duffles, what size do you recommend? Since we only have 4 arms between my husband and I, should we get some rolling and some larger ones with no wheels, or are those big ones too heavy?

4) Why did I not buy these when they were on sale last week? Because I was scared to jinx myself after my Spanish test! But we still needed them, even if I didn't pass the test! Darn it.

Ok, I'm done. Please, tell me about your luggage!! Even if you've never commented before, now's your chance!!

A new schedule

I'm going to blog about my new schedule and progress on the house, to keep myself accountable.

Today I managed to get up about 20 minutes before my usual time, so 4:55am. Last night, my husband came home "early" (7pm, but still, yay!) and we were in the air conditioned bedroom bliss by 9pm, but didn't go to sleep until 10pm. We were waiting on grocery delivery from Fresh Direct (oh, how I love you! I'm already mourning your loss!!) and just couldn't fall asleep. But in those extra 20 minutes this morning, I managed to tackle a task I've been ignoring for months: gathering receipts and paperwork to submit to State for medical exam reimbursement.

I'm so bad at reimbursements! I have a feeling I may have to get a lot better at it.

I forgot that my favorite simplification of life blog recommends easing slowly into an earlier schedule. I just love this post about rising early. I haven't been able to reap all the benefits he lists, but there's still time. One of my dreams over the winter was to sit on my patio in the summer with a cup of coffee, watching the sun rise. Have to make that happen.

(PS I love today's Zen Habits featured blog post: How to Simplify when you love your stuff! Great for FS folks.)

Tomorrow's task is listing a bunch of baby items on Craig's List. This has been on my to-do list for months and it's just totally annoying that I haven't done it.

So the plan is to try getting up at 4:50-4:55 for the rest of the week and getting to bed earlier. Next week, I'll move on to 4:30am.

More waiting

Offers for the September A-100 training class (basically, offers to begin a career in the FS) should go out within the next 3 weeks. We're all hoping it happens sooner than later, but we can only wait. I have no idea if I'll receive an offer. I might; I might not.

We have to proceed as if I will, because there's a lot of work to be done at home.

I have a spreadsheet all typed up with home organizing/beautifying/decluttering tasks and timelines. The only problem is WHEN to do all this work. With kids who wake at dawn, a long commute, and a husband with long hours, there is not much time to work on the house. Which is why it's gotten into a state of disorganization, anyway.

But it has to get done. So I'm starting a 4:30am wakeup schedule this week and hope to move it to 4am if I can manage to get to bed at 9pm once the kids are down. We'll work on things during naptime (they finally nap together; hallelujah!) on weekends, and maybe we'll find some other time on the weekends as well.

Ooh. I have to add "make the kids' moving book" to the spreadsheet. That's one thing I don't want to get lost in the shuffle.

If I get a Sept. offer, the plan is for me to go to A100 with the kids by myself. :( My husband will stay behind and keep working until we either sell or rent the house. We just can't afford the mortgage on one salary, and D's long hours make it impossible for him to keep the kids with him. It will be hard on all of us- A100 is supposed to be grueling and I know the kids will struggle with the change in routine, home, and missing Daddy. Luckily, my parents live in MD and are excited about being around the kids more. They will be a huge help.

We'll just have to get through it. And the fact is that many of my future (I hope) State dept. colleagues are struggling with family separation as well. It's part of this life and something that we are accepting as probably inevitable as we sign on to this life. I hope we won't be separated for long periods of time, but we will make those choices as they arise, and we still believe that the benefits of this lifestyle outweigh some of the disadvantages. 

Happy Birthday, United States of America

We're down in MD visiting my parents for the weekend. I never buy special 4th of July outfits, but something this year made me splurge for the kids. A whole $4 or so each. I can't help but wonder where we'll be next year for this holiday. And I'm thinking of FSOs all over the world who are working hard today!

Let me off, please! I'm getting motion sick!

With the passing of my Spanish test, I was really hoping to get OFF this part of the roller coaster. Yes, I realize that life in the FS is somewhat like a roller coaster, anyway, with intense highs and intense lows and all that. That's one of the reasons I am so attracted to this lifestyle- never a dull moment.

But this applying to the FS roller coaster? Not so fun.

For the May, June, and August classes, I know that they invited people with lower ranks and scores than me. I now have a 5.57 and they invited people with 5.4s and lots of 5.47s and 5.5s. But those people were ranked in the 20s- only 1 or 2 were in the 30s, that I know of (reminder- I'm #30, although that can change daily). So it seems that the Consular register, like all the other registers, is growing very quickly, adding people at the top as well as the bottom.

For those unfamiliar with the FS, training classes are held every 6 weeks or so. Approximately 18-20 people per cone (Consular is my cone) are invited. They start from the top of the list and start inviting until they reach their quota. But a number of people on the list might be unavailable to get a call (we term it "Do not call" status) or might turn it down. So if there are enough DNCs (10-15 or so) on the Con list, I might get an offer for Sept. Or I might not.

Honestly, when I explain this stuff to friends and family, I feel ridiculous. "So does this mean you'll definitely get an offer?" they might ask. A matter of fact question, no?

But my answer, if I'm truthful, is: "Well, yes, if there are a lot of DNCs and they start extending offers soon and not a lot of Pickering fellows choose to join this class, and they authorize the class to start, and they approve the FY11 budget, and pigs don't fall from the sky..."

Seriously, it's absurd. And slightly embarrassing.

Invites for the Sept. class are supposed to go out sometime in July. I'm very, very grateful to be closer to making the cut. But honestly, maybe I won't. It really is a roller coaster.

(one final note. I want to thank everyone who commented on my blog recently and especially yesterday. The support of this community has been so heartwarming. Thank you.)

In shock...

I passed!!

I can't believe it!

I am now 30 out of 129. I'm not sure it will be good enough to get me an offer for Sept, but eventually, it should.

I want to take a moment to thank my mom and pop who nurtured my love of Spanish with not one, but two high school exchange programs to Latin America. Thank you for the gift of bilingualism that you gave me.

Off to review my house to-do list. Thank you everyone for the support!